Compliment Challenge

January 20, 2010

This past week we were challenged to give three sincere compliments and watch for reactions upon giving them.
Right after class I thought about who I wanted to give them too, but realized it would be much more sincere if I just let it come to me on the spot, rather than planning it out. I had a long 3-day weekend to make my goal.
I met up with my friend (you know him! ---Joseph Baxter) and we drove to Lava Hot Springs to go swimming. I have known him for 4 years because he was my FHE brother before he left for his mission. As we were driving we talked a lot about his family and his mother who had died in a car accident when he was 14. He had only ever mentioned her once before in our whole 4 year friendship. After he talked about her for a bit I told him how proud of him she must be, for all the decisions he has made and for who he is. I didn’t even realize I was fulfilling one of my goals for the class, at the moment it just felt right to say. He took it very sincerely and even mentioned her a couple times later, I feel that because of the response I gave he felt more comfortable to talk to me about a hurtful time in his life.
My room mate and I went to a bon-fire. While we were there I noticed she wouldn’t talk to anyone or go out of her way to meet new people. I tried introducing her to everyone and getting her involved in the conversation but she had already made it up in her mind that she didn’t want anything to do with it. She called another room mate to come pick her up and I walked with her to the road. She apologized and said she just has anxiety and feels like she has nothing to offer anyone. This baffled me! I couldn’t think of anyone who would not like her. I told her that I wished she could see herself the way I see her. I told her that she has so much to offer everyone she meets and that by holding back she isn’t sharing her light with others. Then I told her that I know she has it in her to open up and meet others because she served a mission and that takes lots of guts! It was all a matter of mind and believing in yourself that you really do have something to offer others and that you aren’t just a nobody. She still left but my room mate who picked her up said that it was smart of me not to just ruin my night as well on her account, but told me that she had said how much what I said to her meant and impacted her. I didn’t think of this instance as “complimenting” someone either. I was just telling her the truth!
Lastly, there is this girl in my ward who is dating one of my friends. I do not know her well, only her name. But she is someone I would like to get to know. On the way to my door she was passing by and we started as a simple hi and bye passing but I began to ask her what her plans were for the remainder of the weekend. We began chatting and talked for about 10 minutes. When she told me she was glad to talk I told her I was glad I got to know her better and meet her personally and that my first impression of her walking in with her boyfriend (my friend) was right—because I thought she was just a sweet and sincere girl and meeting her only made it more true.

This was a great challenge that I want to further continue. 3 sincere compliments in a week is hardly challenging if you are choosing to be optimistic and look for the best in people, and doing this challenge helped me do that! (: