This challenge came at no better time for me. One of my closest friends is in a great struggle with his testimony. He has been a member his whole life, served a mission, and lives the commandments, but inside he is having this great inner struggle that is consuming him. We have been great friends for 4 years and he just told me about his issue with the church in December. I could not believe it because I had always seen him in the light of a strong, dedicated church member. I was beyond belief. He said he had been struggling years now and that it has just progressed and he is very much considereing leaving the church. It all stated with Joseph Smith and polygamy and has leaked into almost every other aspect of the church. It became all we ever talked about over the last couple outings we had. Hours and hours we would talk about it. Me taking the churches side and him throwing every arguement of how the church can't be true. It really started getting inbetween our friendship. His mother died, and he said it has stemmed from that. I love him to death and understand that this is a legit struggle for him, but am so annoyed that he can't open his eyes and heart. I feel that the spirit has left him and he is just being prideful. We always end our arguements by agreeing to disagree because we never get anywhere. When I tell him to just work on gaining a testimony, putting aside all the anti-stuff he reads and just dedicate himself he comes up with an arguement of how he's already tried that and God hasn't given him an answer. When I tell him to leave the church because he doesn't believe it anyways and staying for appearance is being a hypocrite he argues to stay! It's definiatly a lose-lose conflict. I always end up frusterated and hurt. I pray all the time that he'll get his answer and be happy again. You can just see how much it has taken a toll on him and is literally consuming his heart and mind.
For the past week I have strictly decided to not debate with him or argue why the church is true, but to just listen and hear where he is coming from and to just use all the strategies I have learned in class, read in the book, and gave my group presentation on.
It has made a great difference. Although he says things about the church or gospel that irk me because I don't agree with them at all, I have made an extra effort to let him share his thoughts and feelings of the matter without being interrupted. I have gained a better understanding of his struggle and how he does want to overcome it. It was a struggle to listen more than talk but I think it didn't just help me, I think it helped him. Later he told me how much he appreciates that I just listen. He says he feels that though he knows it's hard for me to watch him struggle, he knows that I love him the same and that makes him feel better- because if anything he does need to feel love, especially why he is going through this trial. It made me appreciate my testimony all the more. I see small miracles every day unfold of how I really, truly know that this church is true. I have no doubt in my mind- I just wish that he can find out for himself.
Listening is definitly an aquired skill that we all have to work on and try harder to be better at. But it helps others and inturn, it helps ourselves. This was a great challenge and it really helped my friend. And i'll do anything to help him in getting his answer.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The Five Love Languages
This was an interesting test to take. Kinda fun too!
Results:
Qulaity Time: 8
Physical Touch: 8
Words of Affirmation: 6
Acts of Service: 6
Recieving Gifts: 2
Results:
Qulaity Time: 8
Physical Touch: 8
Words of Affirmation: 6
Acts of Service: 6
Recieving Gifts: 2
Monday, March 29, 2010
Recognizing Your Emotions
February 18, 2010
1. I recognized the emotions I felt by my non-verbal reactions. When I was tired I slouched against the couch or did my homework with my computer on my lap in my bed. I noticed I also listened more in conversations rather than contributed. However, I recognized my physiological factors when my crush came over my heart rate increased. I became more upbeat yet more conscious of myself and my surroundings. Cognitively I hear many times that I have strong facial expressions during a movie. Since I am not able to observe my face, I am always surprised every time I hear it. However, oddly enough the facial expressions they say I have are do not always match up with how I am feeling during the movie.
2. For the most part I could decipher the emotions I was feeling throughout the 3 day period. I noticed I was the most wishy-washy with my feelings when it came to boys. And one in particular. One minute I’d really like him and the next minute I’d think to myself, “No self, you don’t like him, he’s just your friend.” Back and forth throughout the majority of the time I was with him. The emotions would drastically change too- which explains to me how boys can get so frustrated with girls! I was frustrated with myself for the roller-coaster of emotions. I usually am pretty consistent with my emotions but realized how unstable they were around my crush!
3. I would say I have majority primary emotions and majority mild emotions. I am pretty laid back and easy-going. When I’m happy it shows, when I’m sad it shows. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I purposefully try not to be extreme in any emotions. I physically try and maintain a happy medium. By not getting too excited, too mad, too angry, too silly, too blunt, too quiet etc. It becomes a conscious effort to cognitively control. But because I have been practicing it for years, it has also become second nature and more natural.
4. I usually don’t show my feelings when my parents are lecturing me (so mostly this was when I lived at home). Every now and then I will receive a phone call about money management or some other issue and I find that I sort of lock up and just run through the emotions of getting the conversation over with by agreeing and not arguing, yet in my head I find perfectly logical arguments, but I just don’t ever think it’s worth the energy or fight. I always show my emotions if it has to do with religious or spiritual nature. It has been that way for as long as I can remember. I can be quiet and not say a word, but if religion was brought up or someone asked me questions I immediately have a whole new persona about me. I have also noticed that “pillow talk” is where most emotions are felt. My roommates and I are always staying up late and talking about any topic that is indulging. It’s great to see everyone’s opinions and how they feel about things.
5. I am satisfied with the substantial conversations I have. I love to talk and listen. I love to communicate! I love to help others with their problems, yet am not as willing to talk about mine. It greatly fits under the fallacy of perfection. That sums up the majority of my life. I have a problem letting others know I have a problem because I always am the one who fixes problems. So when I am hurt or sad or upset or frustrated I pretend I’m ok and I leave on a drive or go on a walk and work things out with myself usually through prayer and then go home happy. I don’t know if this is the best way to handle things, but I know that Christ understands my situations so I don’t bother having my friends or roommates deal with it. I also think that this could be an issue of pride- by not wanting others to know I have problems. Which writing out sounds ridiculous! Everyone has problems! I suppose that I should work on being more expressive of my feelings with others around me. And not just feelings or ideas because I have no problem expressing that but more of when letting others help me when I need it.
1. I recognized the emotions I felt by my non-verbal reactions. When I was tired I slouched against the couch or did my homework with my computer on my lap in my bed. I noticed I also listened more in conversations rather than contributed. However, I recognized my physiological factors when my crush came over my heart rate increased. I became more upbeat yet more conscious of myself and my surroundings. Cognitively I hear many times that I have strong facial expressions during a movie. Since I am not able to observe my face, I am always surprised every time I hear it. However, oddly enough the facial expressions they say I have are do not always match up with how I am feeling during the movie.
2. For the most part I could decipher the emotions I was feeling throughout the 3 day period. I noticed I was the most wishy-washy with my feelings when it came to boys. And one in particular. One minute I’d really like him and the next minute I’d think to myself, “No self, you don’t like him, he’s just your friend.” Back and forth throughout the majority of the time I was with him. The emotions would drastically change too- which explains to me how boys can get so frustrated with girls! I was frustrated with myself for the roller-coaster of emotions. I usually am pretty consistent with my emotions but realized how unstable they were around my crush!
3. I would say I have majority primary emotions and majority mild emotions. I am pretty laid back and easy-going. When I’m happy it shows, when I’m sad it shows. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I purposefully try not to be extreme in any emotions. I physically try and maintain a happy medium. By not getting too excited, too mad, too angry, too silly, too blunt, too quiet etc. It becomes a conscious effort to cognitively control. But because I have been practicing it for years, it has also become second nature and more natural.
4. I usually don’t show my feelings when my parents are lecturing me (so mostly this was when I lived at home). Every now and then I will receive a phone call about money management or some other issue and I find that I sort of lock up and just run through the emotions of getting the conversation over with by agreeing and not arguing, yet in my head I find perfectly logical arguments, but I just don’t ever think it’s worth the energy or fight. I always show my emotions if it has to do with religious or spiritual nature. It has been that way for as long as I can remember. I can be quiet and not say a word, but if religion was brought up or someone asked me questions I immediately have a whole new persona about me. I have also noticed that “pillow talk” is where most emotions are felt. My roommates and I are always staying up late and talking about any topic that is indulging. It’s great to see everyone’s opinions and how they feel about things.
5. I am satisfied with the substantial conversations I have. I love to talk and listen. I love to communicate! I love to help others with their problems, yet am not as willing to talk about mine. It greatly fits under the fallacy of perfection. That sums up the majority of my life. I have a problem letting others know I have a problem because I always am the one who fixes problems. So when I am hurt or sad or upset or frustrated I pretend I’m ok and I leave on a drive or go on a walk and work things out with myself usually through prayer and then go home happy. I don’t know if this is the best way to handle things, but I know that Christ understands my situations so I don’t bother having my friends or roommates deal with it. I also think that this could be an issue of pride- by not wanting others to know I have problems. Which writing out sounds ridiculous! Everyone has problems! I suppose that I should work on being more expressive of my feelings with others around me. And not just feelings or ideas because I have no problem expressing that but more of when letting others help me when I need it.
And Nothing Shall Offend Them
February 10, 2010
It was great to read this article again! This article had a great impact on me and I remember making many changes on how I viewed and took upon feelings from interacting with others. My favorite part of the talk was, “When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.”
This reminded me of the fallacy of causation in chapter 4. The fallacy of causation is based on the irrational belief that emotions are caused by others rather than by one’s own self-talk. This relates to how we are the deciding factor into how we feel and how we take things given from others. We cannot blame the others for how we interpreted it. We can clear up the issue or choose to be more concise of how we explain things.
Growing up I would always get offended if someone said something that I didn’t believe was true or perceive about myself. If it didn’t fit into my mind-set it automatically didn’t qualify as true in my head and I would become offended, upset, and hurt with the person. This way of thinking gets one nowhere. They end up being mad at “the offender” and self-justified in themselves. I definitely qualify for having the fallacy of approval. It will fester inside me if I find someone who has a problem with me or who doesn’t like me. It just eats at me, and I will do whatever is possible to make them re-evaluate and change their mind. In most cases it works, and makes me feel more at peace with myself. So because of this fallacy I have, I like to make everyone like me by accommodating to their needs and being a good friend. So when I find out that someone has a problem or a criticism of me I become very worry-prone and dwell on it.
I never did take criticism well until my freshman year of college where I was blessed to have the most blunt and say-it-like-it-is roommate! She ended up being my favorite roommate because of it. As silly as it sounds I grew to love how she would point out my errors and flaws. I loved her, I knew she loved me, so I just decided to change my attitude and take her advice. This may be an extreme and uncommon example but it worked for me. I almost took a liking to her little critiques because it made me have a more watchful eye and an opportunity to better myself. It reminds me of the scripture Helaman 14:30 which says,
“And remember, remember my brethren, that whosoever perisheth unto himself; and whosoevereth doeth iniquity, doeth it unto himself; for behold ye are all free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free.”
As well as the scripture, “ Mormon 9:31, “Condemn me not because of mine imperfection, neither my father, because of his imperfections, neither they who have written before them; but rather give thanks unto God that he hath made manifest unto you our imperfections, that ye may learn to be more wise than we have been.”
This scripture made me see being rebuked, chastised, corrected, informed, etc. in a whole different light. I remember making it a personal goal of mine to take criticism better, to give the benefit of the doubt that they are sharing it only because they see the potential and how much better you can be. Seeing it from this perspective has made me become very open to criticism and has made me take the new knowledge to better perfect myself. Attitude has made all the difference!
I do believe there is a fine line between constructive criticism and rash sayings that aren’t necessarily applicable. I don’t think we should take comments out of anger or downright rude comments to heart. That is where you must learn to forgive them for what they said. Blame it on a bad day, do whatever you need to do to move on from the comment and not be offended. Of course I think it’s hard, but I think it’s harder to live with the feelings of hurt and anger towards the other for what they said than it is to not be offended. It is worth it in the long run too. I know that I don’t intentionally try to offend others so it makes me more apt and prone to believe that others feel the same way. That and we must forgive to be forgiven! (:
It was great to read this article again! This article had a great impact on me and I remember making many changes on how I viewed and took upon feelings from interacting with others. My favorite part of the talk was, “When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.”
This reminded me of the fallacy of causation in chapter 4. The fallacy of causation is based on the irrational belief that emotions are caused by others rather than by one’s own self-talk. This relates to how we are the deciding factor into how we feel and how we take things given from others. We cannot blame the others for how we interpreted it. We can clear up the issue or choose to be more concise of how we explain things.
Growing up I would always get offended if someone said something that I didn’t believe was true or perceive about myself. If it didn’t fit into my mind-set it automatically didn’t qualify as true in my head and I would become offended, upset, and hurt with the person. This way of thinking gets one nowhere. They end up being mad at “the offender” and self-justified in themselves. I definitely qualify for having the fallacy of approval. It will fester inside me if I find someone who has a problem with me or who doesn’t like me. It just eats at me, and I will do whatever is possible to make them re-evaluate and change their mind. In most cases it works, and makes me feel more at peace with myself. So because of this fallacy I have, I like to make everyone like me by accommodating to their needs and being a good friend. So when I find out that someone has a problem or a criticism of me I become very worry-prone and dwell on it.
I never did take criticism well until my freshman year of college where I was blessed to have the most blunt and say-it-like-it-is roommate! She ended up being my favorite roommate because of it. As silly as it sounds I grew to love how she would point out my errors and flaws. I loved her, I knew she loved me, so I just decided to change my attitude and take her advice. This may be an extreme and uncommon example but it worked for me. I almost took a liking to her little critiques because it made me have a more watchful eye and an opportunity to better myself. It reminds me of the scripture Helaman 14:30 which says,
“And remember, remember my brethren, that whosoever perisheth unto himself; and whosoevereth doeth iniquity, doeth it unto himself; for behold ye are all free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free.”
As well as the scripture, “ Mormon 9:31, “Condemn me not because of mine imperfection, neither my father, because of his imperfections, neither they who have written before them; but rather give thanks unto God that he hath made manifest unto you our imperfections, that ye may learn to be more wise than we have been.”
This scripture made me see being rebuked, chastised, corrected, informed, etc. in a whole different light. I remember making it a personal goal of mine to take criticism better, to give the benefit of the doubt that they are sharing it only because they see the potential and how much better you can be. Seeing it from this perspective has made me become very open to criticism and has made me take the new knowledge to better perfect myself. Attitude has made all the difference!
I do believe there is a fine line between constructive criticism and rash sayings that aren’t necessarily applicable. I don’t think we should take comments out of anger or downright rude comments to heart. That is where you must learn to forgive them for what they said. Blame it on a bad day, do whatever you need to do to move on from the comment and not be offended. Of course I think it’s hard, but I think it’s harder to live with the feelings of hurt and anger towards the other for what they said than it is to not be offended. It is worth it in the long run too. I know that I don’t intentionally try to offend others so it makes me more apt and prone to believe that others feel the same way. That and we must forgive to be forgiven! (:
A True Story
March 23, 2010
I absolutely loved this little story. I loved it because its so true that it is the small things that really make all the difference. She was so happy to hear from him daily, he didn't know the circumstances she was going through or that what he was doing was a service.
This reminds me of an experience this past fall. I started working at a grocery store called Lee's Marketplace. My family had just moved to Utah and I didn't know a single soul. This old man by the name of LJ became quite a familiar face to me within the first week. I saw him all the time. He would always be pushing his little cart, baby steps around the store. I talked to him one day and he said, "you must be new, I know all the checkers." I told him I was. Then he said, "You're not from Utah are you?" I said, "No, how did you know?" He replied, "because of the way you do your hair." I just laughed. From that moment on til the next 4 months LJ and I became good friends. His wife would drop him off every single day at 12 and he would stay til 3 o clock. He grabs his little cart and takes 17 laps around the entire store. Then he'd buy one little yogurt and come through my line. ON breaks we'd sit together and he would tell me about life back in his days and back when "the world was young." He would tell me what he was like and all the things he learned in life. He would bring me presents through my line every once in awhile too. For Thanksgiving I made him a turkey card with feathers and wrote him a note inside about how I'm grateful that we're friends. When he read the card he teared up and told me how happy he was that I called him my friend. When December rolled around I had to put my two weeks notice in so I could return back to BYUI for winter semester. I told LJ I had to leave and he didn't like that one bit. He bought me some chocolates and wrote me a card and told me the only thing he wanted from me was a picture "for my book of memories" he would always say. The thing LJ didn't know was how much he impacted my life. He really was my greatest friend that fall. I could always depend on seeing him there everyday, coming through my line and checking up on me. I don't think he will every really know how much he meant to me. My mom still goes in and shops there at Lee's and will be sure to say hi to LJ. He pulled her aside one day and told her how much I meant to him. I really had no idea that a 22 year old girl could mean anything to a 83 year old man. Friendships really do come in all shapes and sizes.
This reminds me of an experience this past fall. I started working at a grocery store called Lee's Marketplace. My family had just moved to Utah and I didn't know a single soul. This old man by the name of LJ became quite a familiar face to me within the first week. I saw him all the time. He would always be pushing his little cart, baby steps around the store. I talked to him one day and he said, "you must be new, I know all the checkers." I told him I was. Then he said, "You're not from Utah are you?" I said, "No, how did you know?" He replied, "because of the way you do your hair." I just laughed. From that moment on til the next 4 months LJ and I became good friends. His wife would drop him off every single day at 12 and he would stay til 3 o clock. He grabs his little cart and takes 17 laps around the entire store. Then he'd buy one little yogurt and come through my line. ON breaks we'd sit together and he would tell me about life back in his days and back when "the world was young." He would tell me what he was like and all the things he learned in life. He would bring me presents through my line every once in awhile too. For Thanksgiving I made him a turkey card with feathers and wrote him a note inside about how I'm grateful that we're friends. When he read the card he teared up and told me how happy he was that I called him my friend. When December rolled around I had to put my two weeks notice in so I could return back to BYUI for winter semester. I told LJ I had to leave and he didn't like that one bit. He bought me some chocolates and wrote me a card and told me the only thing he wanted from me was a picture "for my book of memories" he would always say. The thing LJ didn't know was how much he impacted my life. He really was my greatest friend that fall. I could always depend on seeing him there everyday, coming through my line and checking up on me. I don't think he will every really know how much he meant to me. My mom still goes in and shops there at Lee's and will be sure to say hi to LJ. He pulled her aside one day and told her how much I meant to him. I really had no idea that a 22 year old girl could mean anything to a 83 year old man. Friendships really do come in all shapes and sizes.
The Tongue of Angels
February 25, 2010
I loved this talk because it tied in so perfectly with this chapter on language.
One thing I think about in relation to this talk and language is how we should speak with a tongue of angels to ALL. It says a lot about someone they way they choose to speak to others. One of my favorite quotes is by Samuel Johnson, “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” I love this quote because it teaches a valuable lesson. We are taught from the scriptures to speak good words to one another and it does not carry exceptions. Many times we think we are justified in acting a certain way or in the words we speak. But we each will be held accountable for what we choose to say, not why we said because of what another provoked us to say! We should treat everyone the way we want to be treated. It’s as basic as the golden rule. It goes back to the other talk of our measure of discipleship of how we choose to see others reflects ourselves. If we see others as spirit children of God, as our brothers and sisters, then it is so much easier for us to love them.
As I was reading this talk I also realized how easy it is to be the best self for people we just meet or don’t know well, but aren’t are best selves with the people we should be striving: your family and our close friends. Many times we become too comfortable and slack in those important fundamental relationships. They become casual and so our actions become casual. I was relating this to my own life and know that it is easy for me to express my appreciation and love to my grandparents, I don’t see them often so when I do I am always on my best behavior, am polite and respectful, and show much gratitude towards them. However, I asked myself why I don’t do this with my own family, especially my parents. They have sacrificed so much for me, by so many means. I know I feel gratitude towards them, I realize the small actions they perform, and inside I know I feel indebted. But I know they need to hear it, and that is one thing I really am working on, which is being able to express my feelings verbally so that my parents may actually know that I appreciate them. It is good to express actions, but I think it is just as important to verbally express feelings so that they may be acknowledged.
I have a testimony that we are to be like our Lord and Savior. He is our ultimate example. He is what I want to become. In order to become more like him I must center my life, deeds, thoughts, and actions around him. I know I can work on being better with uplifting communication. I can compliment more, uplift more, be more positive, and strive harder to see the good that each individual has to offer. I know that by doing this it will only better me and make me in return a happier individual! (:
I loved this talk because it tied in so perfectly with this chapter on language.
One thing I think about in relation to this talk and language is how we should speak with a tongue of angels to ALL. It says a lot about someone they way they choose to speak to others. One of my favorite quotes is by Samuel Johnson, “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” I love this quote because it teaches a valuable lesson. We are taught from the scriptures to speak good words to one another and it does not carry exceptions. Many times we think we are justified in acting a certain way or in the words we speak. But we each will be held accountable for what we choose to say, not why we said because of what another provoked us to say! We should treat everyone the way we want to be treated. It’s as basic as the golden rule. It goes back to the other talk of our measure of discipleship of how we choose to see others reflects ourselves. If we see others as spirit children of God, as our brothers and sisters, then it is so much easier for us to love them.
As I was reading this talk I also realized how easy it is to be the best self for people we just meet or don’t know well, but aren’t are best selves with the people we should be striving: your family and our close friends. Many times we become too comfortable and slack in those important fundamental relationships. They become casual and so our actions become casual. I was relating this to my own life and know that it is easy for me to express my appreciation and love to my grandparents, I don’t see them often so when I do I am always on my best behavior, am polite and respectful, and show much gratitude towards them. However, I asked myself why I don’t do this with my own family, especially my parents. They have sacrificed so much for me, by so many means. I know I feel gratitude towards them, I realize the small actions they perform, and inside I know I feel indebted. But I know they need to hear it, and that is one thing I really am working on, which is being able to express my feelings verbally so that my parents may actually know that I appreciate them. It is good to express actions, but I think it is just as important to verbally express feelings so that they may be acknowledged.
I have a testimony that we are to be like our Lord and Savior. He is our ultimate example. He is what I want to become. In order to become more like him I must center my life, deeds, thoughts, and actions around him. I know I can work on being better with uplifting communication. I can compliment more, uplift more, be more positive, and strive harder to see the good that each individual has to offer. I know that by doing this it will only better me and make me in return a happier individual! (:
The Great Measure of our Discipleship
February 1, 2010
When I began reading this talk I thought, “I know I have heard this before.” Then it struck me as I looked at the date and location it was given that I was present at this devotional 3 years ago. After digging into my memories I recalled that day so vividly. That talk had really moved me and made me look upon myself and how I treated others. I love how he was honest and straight-forward. I remember leaving with so many ideas in my head of how I could do better. Years later, I am so thankful for the reminder of this talk. After reading it I could see the gates opening in my head of how I am going to change and become better at how I view others.
The object I have selected as an example of a way we can view others is as a book. Many times we pick a book judging by its cover. If we don’t necessarily like what we see we will pass it on by until we find something that is more attractive and appealing to us. And most times the book that may be plain on the outside or dull looking will end up being a very good read where we had gained much knowledge and insight from, just as a person that we may have looked over due to their “outer cover.”
I like how he related perception to discipleship. Just as the many examples he gave of the apostles who had viewed someone as an ‘interruption’ or a check-list duty, the Savior has further reminded them that they are not to be viewed as that as he taught each disciple by example. I know the best way I learn is by watching another. Whether it is negative or positive, I learn and match my actions accordingly. I look up to the Savior and those like him for the good examples they set, especially when it comes to how we treat others, for I think that truly defines how we see ourselves and how well we know Christ.
There is a quote that I love that I think really hits the bottom root of how we view others. Sister Marjorie Pay Hinckley said, “We are His children, and if we ever got that through our heads thoroughly, understood that completely, we would never do a small thing, we would never say a cross word, we would not use bad language, we would not criticize anybody, we would love everyone the way the Savior loves us.” I read this quote at my aunt’s house on the bathroom mirror as I was washing my hands and it really hit me hard. It was so true. There was so much simplicity in it. How we treat others is not only a reflection of ourselves but also shows our level of understanding who we are. I made it a challenge and personal goal to strive harder to see each individual’s person worth. I noticed that the more optimistic I was and the harder I tried to see the good in people and love them for who they were, not only was I in turn, happier, but it also became easier! Just as the scripture says that, “will I make weak things become strong unto you.” I gained such a testimony about loving everyone and lifting others up. I have not been perfect at this concept that is for sure. It is still a work in progress and oftentimes I have to remind myself to clear out the negative thoughts I have about someone. I do however, know how good I feel when I keep my goal and make an effort. The small things really do make all the difference. And many times it is the small things that matter most, just as he said when he told the story of Lisa and the boy who saved the chair for his friend.
I am thankful that I was able to re read this talk and have a greater desire to start anew and make changes in the way I view others. It is a privilege to be able to call oneself a disciple of Christ and I want to take every advantage I can to live up to it!
When I began reading this talk I thought, “I know I have heard this before.” Then it struck me as I looked at the date and location it was given that I was present at this devotional 3 years ago. After digging into my memories I recalled that day so vividly. That talk had really moved me and made me look upon myself and how I treated others. I love how he was honest and straight-forward. I remember leaving with so many ideas in my head of how I could do better. Years later, I am so thankful for the reminder of this talk. After reading it I could see the gates opening in my head of how I am going to change and become better at how I view others.
The object I have selected as an example of a way we can view others is as a book. Many times we pick a book judging by its cover. If we don’t necessarily like what we see we will pass it on by until we find something that is more attractive and appealing to us. And most times the book that may be plain on the outside or dull looking will end up being a very good read where we had gained much knowledge and insight from, just as a person that we may have looked over due to their “outer cover.”
I like how he related perception to discipleship. Just as the many examples he gave of the apostles who had viewed someone as an ‘interruption’ or a check-list duty, the Savior has further reminded them that they are not to be viewed as that as he taught each disciple by example. I know the best way I learn is by watching another. Whether it is negative or positive, I learn and match my actions accordingly. I look up to the Savior and those like him for the good examples they set, especially when it comes to how we treat others, for I think that truly defines how we see ourselves and how well we know Christ.
There is a quote that I love that I think really hits the bottom root of how we view others. Sister Marjorie Pay Hinckley said, “We are His children, and if we ever got that through our heads thoroughly, understood that completely, we would never do a small thing, we would never say a cross word, we would not use bad language, we would not criticize anybody, we would love everyone the way the Savior loves us.” I read this quote at my aunt’s house on the bathroom mirror as I was washing my hands and it really hit me hard. It was so true. There was so much simplicity in it. How we treat others is not only a reflection of ourselves but also shows our level of understanding who we are. I made it a challenge and personal goal to strive harder to see each individual’s person worth. I noticed that the more optimistic I was and the harder I tried to see the good in people and love them for who they were, not only was I in turn, happier, but it also became easier! Just as the scripture says that, “will I make weak things become strong unto you.” I gained such a testimony about loving everyone and lifting others up. I have not been perfect at this concept that is for sure. It is still a work in progress and oftentimes I have to remind myself to clear out the negative thoughts I have about someone. I do however, know how good I feel when I keep my goal and make an effort. The small things really do make all the difference. And many times it is the small things that matter most, just as he said when he told the story of Lisa and the boy who saved the chair for his friend.
I am thankful that I was able to re read this talk and have a greater desire to start anew and make changes in the way I view others. It is a privilege to be able to call oneself a disciple of Christ and I want to take every advantage I can to live up to it!
The Doer of Our Deeds
January 20, 2010
I really enjoyed this article. It really changed my perspective on self-concept and self-esteem. Many times we feel that outward experiences and events shape what we know and how we feel about ourselves but this talk taught me how it should be and it is more inward.
After reading this talk I thought of my lowest-low and my highest high point in life. I also noticed that during my highest high I and my time of greatest self esteem I was trying very hard to be obedient and striving to live as Christ. I noticed that when I was slacking on my prayers or reading my scriptures I was not at my peak. Not to say that when you are being obedient only good things will come from it. Bad things happen to good people- that’s life. But patience and a deeper knowledge from enduring trials will come. Satan wants to make us feel alone. He wants us to feel like we are the ONLY ones who are suffering or experiencing our state of being. As smart as he is, he knows that this will make us feel self-pity and a sense of justification on our acts.
However, just as the scripture says in Moroni 7:16–17, “For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God. But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil
work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him.” I love this scripture because it is so simple and straight to the point yet so deep and encompassing that it can be related to anything and everything.
Satan knows our flaws, shortcomings, and weaknesses and in his own conniving ways we oftentimes allow him to use that knowledge against us. He knows the areas we want to keep hidden from others and the thoughts that we let seep into our heads and hearts that will bring us down and further away from Christ. By being hard on ourselves and not loving ourselves we are pushing out the Savior’s view of us and hanging onto what Satan has plotted for us.
When I think back on my lowest low I so badly want to hug her (or in better words: my past self). I become disappointed in myself that I ever viewed such harsh and un-Christ like thoughts about myself- myself being a spirit daughter of God. I know that if I was able to view myself in His eyes I wouldn’t have seen myself as I had. I feel this way to when a loved one, family member, or friend is hard on themselves and speaks negatively having a narrow-minded approach that Satan has sneakily released into their mind. I think to myself, “If only they could see themselves as I see them” and I know that the Savior feels this way about how we look upon ourselves.
The greatest concept I learned from this talk was the principle of faith. In short, having faith is what makes of breaks you. Believing in Christ and his word is what gives us the faith to actively act upon His word. It gives us a sure knowledge of things, and having that faith makes it possible for us to have a hope and to believe in ourselves. It gives us a sort of reassurance that helps us move forward. That is my goal in life- to move forward. Even if it is just a tiny step, as long as I am in the right direction, I know that I will be learning and growing. My dad always said that pace isn't as important as direction. Forward in faith, not backwards in fear.
I really enjoyed this article. It really changed my perspective on self-concept and self-esteem. Many times we feel that outward experiences and events shape what we know and how we feel about ourselves but this talk taught me how it should be and it is more inward.
After reading this talk I thought of my lowest-low and my highest high point in life. I also noticed that during my highest high I and my time of greatest self esteem I was trying very hard to be obedient and striving to live as Christ. I noticed that when I was slacking on my prayers or reading my scriptures I was not at my peak. Not to say that when you are being obedient only good things will come from it. Bad things happen to good people- that’s life. But patience and a deeper knowledge from enduring trials will come. Satan wants to make us feel alone. He wants us to feel like we are the ONLY ones who are suffering or experiencing our state of being. As smart as he is, he knows that this will make us feel self-pity and a sense of justification on our acts.
However, just as the scripture says in Moroni 7:16–17, “For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God. But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil
work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him.” I love this scripture because it is so simple and straight to the point yet so deep and encompassing that it can be related to anything and everything.
Satan knows our flaws, shortcomings, and weaknesses and in his own conniving ways we oftentimes allow him to use that knowledge against us. He knows the areas we want to keep hidden from others and the thoughts that we let seep into our heads and hearts that will bring us down and further away from Christ. By being hard on ourselves and not loving ourselves we are pushing out the Savior’s view of us and hanging onto what Satan has plotted for us.
When I think back on my lowest low I so badly want to hug her (or in better words: my past self). I become disappointed in myself that I ever viewed such harsh and un-Christ like thoughts about myself- myself being a spirit daughter of God. I know that if I was able to view myself in His eyes I wouldn’t have seen myself as I had. I feel this way to when a loved one, family member, or friend is hard on themselves and speaks negatively having a narrow-minded approach that Satan has sneakily released into their mind. I think to myself, “If only they could see themselves as I see them” and I know that the Savior feels this way about how we look upon ourselves.
The greatest concept I learned from this talk was the principle of faith. In short, having faith is what makes of breaks you. Believing in Christ and his word is what gives us the faith to actively act upon His word. It gives us a sure knowledge of things, and having that faith makes it possible for us to have a hope and to believe in ourselves. It gives us a sort of reassurance that helps us move forward. That is my goal in life- to move forward. Even if it is just a tiny step, as long as I am in the right direction, I know that I will be learning and growing. My dad always said that pace isn't as important as direction. Forward in faith, not backwards in fear.
Compliment Challenge
January 20, 2010
This past week we were challenged to give three sincere compliments and watch for reactions upon giving them.
Right after class I thought about who I wanted to give them too, but realized it would be much more sincere if I just let it come to me on the spot, rather than planning it out. I had a long 3-day weekend to make my goal.
I met up with my friend (you know him! ---Joseph Baxter) and we drove to Lava Hot Springs to go swimming. I have known him for 4 years because he was my FHE brother before he left for his mission. As we were driving we talked a lot about his family and his mother who had died in a car accident when he was 14. He had only ever mentioned her once before in our whole 4 year friendship. After he talked about her for a bit I told him how proud of him she must be, for all the decisions he has made and for who he is. I didn’t even realize I was fulfilling one of my goals for the class, at the moment it just felt right to say. He took it very sincerely and even mentioned her a couple times later, I feel that because of the response I gave he felt more comfortable to talk to me about a hurtful time in his life.
My room mate and I went to a bon-fire. While we were there I noticed she wouldn’t talk to anyone or go out of her way to meet new people. I tried introducing her to everyone and getting her involved in the conversation but she had already made it up in her mind that she didn’t want anything to do with it. She called another room mate to come pick her up and I walked with her to the road. She apologized and said she just has anxiety and feels like she has nothing to offer anyone. This baffled me! I couldn’t think of anyone who would not like her. I told her that I wished she could see herself the way I see her. I told her that she has so much to offer everyone she meets and that by holding back she isn’t sharing her light with others. Then I told her that I know she has it in her to open up and meet others because she served a mission and that takes lots of guts! It was all a matter of mind and believing in yourself that you really do have something to offer others and that you aren’t just a nobody. She still left but my room mate who picked her up said that it was smart of me not to just ruin my night as well on her account, but told me that she had said how much what I said to her meant and impacted her. I didn’t think of this instance as “complimenting” someone either. I was just telling her the truth!
Lastly, there is this girl in my ward who is dating one of my friends. I do not know her well, only her name. But she is someone I would like to get to know. On the way to my door she was passing by and we started as a simple hi and bye passing but I began to ask her what her plans were for the remainder of the weekend. We began chatting and talked for about 10 minutes. When she told me she was glad to talk I told her I was glad I got to know her better and meet her personally and that my first impression of her walking in with her boyfriend (my friend) was right—because I thought she was just a sweet and sincere girl and meeting her only made it more true.
This was a great challenge that I want to further continue. 3 sincere compliments in a week is hardly challenging if you are choosing to be optimistic and look for the best in people, and doing this challenge helped me do that! (:
This past week we were challenged to give three sincere compliments and watch for reactions upon giving them.
Right after class I thought about who I wanted to give them too, but realized it would be much more sincere if I just let it come to me on the spot, rather than planning it out. I had a long 3-day weekend to make my goal.
I met up with my friend (you know him! ---Joseph Baxter) and we drove to Lava Hot Springs to go swimming. I have known him for 4 years because he was my FHE brother before he left for his mission. As we were driving we talked a lot about his family and his mother who had died in a car accident when he was 14. He had only ever mentioned her once before in our whole 4 year friendship. After he talked about her for a bit I told him how proud of him she must be, for all the decisions he has made and for who he is. I didn’t even realize I was fulfilling one of my goals for the class, at the moment it just felt right to say. He took it very sincerely and even mentioned her a couple times later, I feel that because of the response I gave he felt more comfortable to talk to me about a hurtful time in his life.
My room mate and I went to a bon-fire. While we were there I noticed she wouldn’t talk to anyone or go out of her way to meet new people. I tried introducing her to everyone and getting her involved in the conversation but she had already made it up in her mind that she didn’t want anything to do with it. She called another room mate to come pick her up and I walked with her to the road. She apologized and said she just has anxiety and feels like she has nothing to offer anyone. This baffled me! I couldn’t think of anyone who would not like her. I told her that I wished she could see herself the way I see her. I told her that she has so much to offer everyone she meets and that by holding back she isn’t sharing her light with others. Then I told her that I know she has it in her to open up and meet others because she served a mission and that takes lots of guts! It was all a matter of mind and believing in yourself that you really do have something to offer others and that you aren’t just a nobody. She still left but my room mate who picked her up said that it was smart of me not to just ruin my night as well on her account, but told me that she had said how much what I said to her meant and impacted her. I didn’t think of this instance as “complimenting” someone either. I was just telling her the truth!
Lastly, there is this girl in my ward who is dating one of my friends. I do not know her well, only her name. But she is someone I would like to get to know. On the way to my door she was passing by and we started as a simple hi and bye passing but I began to ask her what her plans were for the remainder of the weekend. We began chatting and talked for about 10 minutes. When she told me she was glad to talk I told her I was glad I got to know her better and meet her personally and that my first impression of her walking in with her boyfriend (my friend) was right—because I thought she was just a sweet and sincere girl and meeting her only made it more true.
This was a great challenge that I want to further continue. 3 sincere compliments in a week is hardly challenging if you are choosing to be optimistic and look for the best in people, and doing this challenge helped me do that! (:
Scripture on Communication
Two scriptures that really stood out to me concerning communication were:
Colossians 4:6- "Let your speech always be with grace"
Exodus 33:11- "The Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend."
I liked these because I believe that the Savior always spoke with love and grace and it is just a reminder to me to speak with that same love. For if I can speak with love then I can truly have a stronger love for them.
I like the second one because it teaches a good principle (especially now days) of speaking face to face. They have had many New Era and ensign articles about how we should text less and communicate face to face more. I think personal communication is much more effective.
Colossians 4:6- "Let your speech always be with grace"
Exodus 33:11- "The Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend."
I liked these because I believe that the Savior always spoke with love and grace and it is just a reminder to me to speak with that same love. For if I can speak with love then I can truly have a stronger love for them.
I like the second one because it teaches a good principle (especially now days) of speaking face to face. They have had many New Era and ensign articles about how we should text less and communicate face to face more. I think personal communication is much more effective.
Book Chapter Videos
I am trying to get the links so you can just click and watch them but I'm running across a few problems of uploading them so I wrote what you need to write in the youtube site to be able to view them. Enjoy! (:
Perception: youtube- Finding Nemo, "Clown Fish Joke". Marlin tries to tell a joke, but it doesn't
go over so well. The other sea creatures are dissapointed with the joke because clearly he's a clown fish and is supposed to be funny!
Emotion: youtube- "That 70's Show- Eric Don't Share Your Emotions". Eric's uncle just died and Red doesn't want Eric to open up and share emotions. Funny!
Body Language: youtube- "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from Disney's The Little Mermaid. Ursula explains to Ariel that though she won't be able to speak, she has body language to help guide her. Great clip!
Language: youtube- "I Can Change the World." Written words appear as a girl read them front to bottom. Then it changes as she reads the same words bottom to top but gives a completely different meaning. Another thought provoking clip.
Communication Climate: youtube- "The Office- Work Climate." Michael wan'ts everyone to embrace eachother's differences so he has everyone post a index card on their head and has everyone else treat the person that way.
Listening: youtube- "The Office-Launch Party." Michael is lecturing about a new idea and those in the conference room are waiting for the Windows Icon to hit the corner of the computer. They cheer when it almost does and Michael feels they love what he has to say. Hilarious.
Perception: youtube- Finding Nemo, "Clown Fish Joke". Marlin tries to tell a joke, but it doesn't
go over so well. The other sea creatures are dissapointed with the joke because clearly he's a clown fish and is supposed to be funny!
Emotion: youtube- "That 70's Show- Eric Don't Share Your Emotions". Eric's uncle just died and Red doesn't want Eric to open up and share emotions. Funny!
Body Language: youtube- "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from Disney's The Little Mermaid. Ursula explains to Ariel that though she won't be able to speak, she has body language to help guide her. Great clip!
Language: youtube- "I Can Change the World." Written words appear as a girl read them front to bottom. Then it changes as she reads the same words bottom to top but gives a completely different meaning. Another thought provoking clip.
Communication Climate: youtube- "The Office- Work Climate." Michael wan'ts everyone to embrace eachother's differences so he has everyone post a index card on their head and has everyone else treat the person that way.
Listening: youtube- "The Office-Launch Party." Michael is lecturing about a new idea and those in the conference room are waiting for the Windows Icon to hit the corner of the computer. They cheer when it almost does and Michael feels they love what he has to say. Hilarious.
YOU Project
I had Nathan Sardoni. It was fun but a little awkward to have to sit and watch him in class, mostly because he's a member of the opposite sex and I didn't want him to think I was stalking him, which I clearly was. But let me tell you, Nathan is a funny, funny kid. You can tell he was a lot on him mind yet he doesn't speak up much in class. But when he does it's deep and profound. The kid is clearly a smart, observant boy. Not to mention he looks exactly like my friend! So as the gift I gave him it was a picture of my friend who looks and acts exactly like him. Its fun to see a picture of your twin. It was also interesting because knowing Brian (his twin) made me more comfortable and warm up quicker with Nathan even though I had never known him before. It was a great project!
What Not to Wear
My scenario was someone who was to testify not guilty in court. I wanted to dress as jailbird, I thought that would be fun, however finding a orange jump suit was difficult enough- I found no luck shopping at the DI. Intead I wore a professional looking outfit. A blazer, white button-up shirt, tights, and heels. I found this looked professional enough. Then I added some cuffs to my hands to give it away a little more. It turned out well. I acted as if i was brought into some room and had a microphone where I would respond, "yes, no, and I plead the fifth." They all guessed pretty quick. It was a fun class day seeing everyone act their part!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Non-verbal Babysitting
I babysat my niece today who is a year and a half. She can say about 4 words, which unlike the ones I choose are, Ma, Dad, Hi, and Bye. After reading this chapter and making my observations today I realized how I spent 6 hours non verbally babysitting. She couldn't tell me what she wanted, or didn't want with her words, so I had to use clues and context and gestures the entire night. Many times I was wrong, many times I was right. It was defiantly trial and error. She was very good at reading me too. She knew he limits. I didn't have to say NO to her for her to know she shouldn't do something, she could see my eyes weren't approving and that was No enough. It was fun to observe and try and conclude to what she was thinking throughout the many different scenarios of the day!
Observation Projects
I don't know about the rest of the groups, but I loved the observation projects! I'm curious to hear if any one tried the elevator one. I can only imagine how funny that must have been to see others reactions. I also wondered how accurate my observations were. Obviously we think we are making good judgments of how we perceived others by their body language and non-verbal communication but it would be interesting to find how accurate our observations were. Going off of what Brother Embree talked about in class it was cool to see that it truly is the eyes that say so much. When observing I noticed I used their body language to see actions but used their eyes just as much. Did anyone else watch others eyes closely?
Blog problems 101
Let me tell you, don't ever forget your sign in name and password. It takes too long to try and remember what you may have chose to get back in! But I'm back and wrote my password down this time (;
All my married friends have blogs, so I was wondering what I could possibly write about since I don't have a cute kid running around or a wonderful husband to brag about. So this is where "continuing the conversation" come in! (:
I just love our communications class! We learn so many cool things. I loved last class where Cami and JB had to sit in a chair and were given scenarios. I noticed how true we really even think so hard about how we sit to give the appearance we want perceived. When I went to get my Ecclesiastical Endorsement I sat in the Bishop's office, waiting for him to come in. I crossed my legs and folded my arms. Then I just thought it didn't look "professional" enough so I cupped my hands together and folded my legs to the side, just as Cami had done in class when Sister Embree said, "pretend you're sitting across from Pres. Monson." I love when we learn things in class and I see them happen in the real world!
All my married friends have blogs, so I was wondering what I could possibly write about since I don't have a cute kid running around or a wonderful husband to brag about. So this is where "continuing the conversation" come in! (:
I just love our communications class! We learn so many cool things. I loved last class where Cami and JB had to sit in a chair and were given scenarios. I noticed how true we really even think so hard about how we sit to give the appearance we want perceived. When I went to get my Ecclesiastical Endorsement I sat in the Bishop's office, waiting for him to come in. I crossed my legs and folded my arms. Then I just thought it didn't look "professional" enough so I cupped my hands together and folded my legs to the side, just as Cami had done in class when Sister Embree said, "pretend you're sitting across from Pres. Monson." I love when we learn things in class and I see them happen in the real world!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
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